Life changing decisions

Sometimes, we are led to make decisions in life without actually knowing why we did so. I feel exactly like that now. Relocation to a new country, thousand of miles from home, is a big decision. In my case, it was a huge decision -very difficult- and yet I made it without turning a brow! Why, I often wonder? I didn't want to move; I didn't want to leave Pakistan once again - a place that lives in my heart wherever I am. More than any thing, I did not want to leave the love, care and peace that came from being with people closest to me, who were my own. Yet I relocated to UK despite not wanting it. Why, I wonder?
The only answer that comes up is that I did so because I was meant to do it. Now, people may say this is an extremely fatalistic attitude and I agree- I am a fatalist. I have learnt long ago that sometimes, one has to go with the flow despite reservations because fighting with fate brings nothing but disappointment. Now that I am here, in a strange city full of unknown people - a city where I have no friends or even acquaintances - I am full of unhappiness and restlessness but strangely, no doubts. I am sure that Allah will make it work. There was a reason that I came here and possibly I will get to know it later in life, but for now, I trust Allah with my life and I believe that Allah never breaks your trust. In a city where I have no friends, I take Allah as my friend and then, everything is up to Him. I realize now what it is to be alone and feel at times like this how great is Allah's friendship. He never leaves us and He never stops listening. That's the only thing that cheers me now. So, I trust in this love and try to make a new life once again in another part of the world. Fi Amaan-i- Allah.

Faroha Liaqat
http://avoiceforislam.blogspot.com

Being different!

I sometimes wonder about the burden of being different - different in the sense of having the courage to make your own path instead of following the mainstream- different because your life follows a pattern that is not the norm. It does not mean at all that the norm is not good; I often think that most of the people leading average, ordinary lives exactly like their neighbors, colleagues, friends are often the happiest and the most satisfied. It is a blessing in a way to be doing what others are doing, to be leading a life where familiar patterns occur, to be in the mainstream.
It takes a lot of toll on one not to be a  part of the mainstream, to be always carving a narrow road for yourself that has not been trodden before. It makes one wonder what is wrong with oneself; why it has to happen in a different way but I have learnt now that this is one of the things that fate decides rather than us. There are some people to whom things happen, whose lives are full of dramas or experiences which are not common and they can do nothing about this. It is a sort of path one is forced to follow.
I am not sure if I am making myself very clear here or as to why I am writing this, probably to get out frustration about the whole poetry of it. Many people would say it's a blessing to be different, to be carving your own niche, to be leading life in a way that's not boring and I would agree with them for the most. However, I frequently wonder how burdensome it is in our society, how one constantly faces challenges and questions just because one happened to be having a different education, career, travel plans, life incidents and so on. It's a constant struggle to confirm to expected standards and discover in vain that this is not to be. We do not decide how our life shapes up, Allah does it for us. We do not decide our Rizk, relationships or place of residence - they choose us and I again find that nothing buut acceptance and faith in Allah will soothe a fluttering heart. In Allah, so we trust.

Dr. Faroha Liaqat
http://avoiceforislam.blogspot.com

The Pakistani Society - the good, the bad and the ugly

Let me be very clear at the start - this is not a post thrashing Pakistan and its people. I could never dream of doing it. This post mainly invites the Pakistani people to introspect and look at how we are evolving as a society - perhaps this introspection could make some of us strive for betterment.

Writing, for me, always comes out of frustration. These words are a means by which I get rid of the demons tearing me apart and these days, I am being increasingly bothered by the crass attitudes of many people in our society. Not to forget, Pakistan boasts of some of the nicest, friendly and hospitable people I have ever encountered. Our society is full of people who offer help, advice, support without any ulterior motive.This is what separates us from the West - I have lived long enough there to witness the self-centered behavior and the consumerism of the Western society. I always longed to be back among my own people, where one is never short of shoulders to cry on, help that comes out of the blue, a coherent family structure and an abundance of love.

Let's come to the frustrating part now. Sometimes, we in the Pakistani society, take our interference in others' affairs too far and the sky is the limit for many of us. I am sure each of us has encountered nosy "aunties" inquiring about your personal affairs, "uncles" who provide advice with thinly veiled disapproval, women who are jealous of another woman's success, men who think a girl who knows her mind and is vocal about views is to be looked down upon. The cutting point is that all of this is done in the name of Islam. I mean, seriously! The Islam I know does not allow jealousy, envy, hatred and backbiting. The Islam I know does not count prayers as much as it values your honesty, truthfulness and a pure heart. Do we forget that it is not our bodies, glittering jewels and fine clothes that impress Allah but it is our pure heart and Imaan that Allah values? What kind of a society are we turning into? A society that is blindly following Western consumerism on one hand and ultra conservatism on the other? Have we forgotten the importance of striking a balance between Deen and Duniya? Why do I witness so many hypocrites around - people who do not tire of preaching a set of values they do not practice?

I am not talking about the Mullahs. I am talking about the normal people- educated people like us who have such double standards. I am not angered but hurt- deeply hurt - by the things I am seeing very frequently all around since I have returned to Pakistan. I was never one to be impressed by appearances but I am amazed at how important the exterior - beauty, wealth, status, job, money - has become for us. People do not tire of saying how important manners, education, character, truth and honesty are but they will never prefer these characteristics in real life in a poor and average looking person. I am also a part of the same society and I am disgusted at what we are fast becoming. Thankfully, I dislike consumerism; I still abhor a false character and lies; I still value character over money but I wonder for how long? I fear about the impact of this society on our lives and I am disturbed at the careless, unfeeling attitude of the people around. It hurts me to see people who have one standard for others and a different moral standard for themselves. Things like this make me hopeless. It gets stifling sometimes and I wish we evolve as a society in the way Islam defines a perfect, moral human being - just, honest, truthful, patient, tolerant and helping.

I wish I could end at a cheerful note but it's just one of those days when a weight bears down upon my soul. I am sure this world is full of nice and kind people - I just wish we have some more.

Dr. Faroha Liaqat
http://avoiceforislam.blogspot.com

Wonder and Thankfulness

For the first time that I have wanted to write in a while, I am not writing a blog with a heavy heart. A heavy heart somehow gets lightened by getting those thoughts out on paper as words which keep bothering us. However, this is not the case with this post; these words are written with a grateful heart , perhaps with a touch of wonder. Wonder, at the way things unfold in life. Amazement, at the way prayers are listened to and thankfulness, at how Allah takes us out of distress when we see no way out.
This is not to say that life is without its fair share of trials and tribulations. Hard times are a part and parcel of life and are necessary for a person's emotional and spiritual growth. Problems keep on coming but what keeps me going through them is perhaps a deep belief in the love that Allah has for its creation. I have never been disappointed in Allah whenever I have asked Him for something. It has nothing to do with me; rather, I always think about this in wonder and look back with thankfulness in my heart.
I don't know why I am writing these words. They won't mean much to any one except me but perhaps, they may serve as a message of hope to people who are going through hard times and keep wondering about these trials and taking them as punishments. This is just an answer to all those people who think like I did; why me? The answer is simple. Trials are not an obstacle but a step onto a higher platform. Allah does not burden us beyond our capability and Allah does not leave us. One thing is for certain: whether times are good or hard, they do not stay. What stays is a belief in Allah, an ever-growing belief in His mercy. He does listen to prayers and He does have a plan for us. Things take their own sweet time to get right and when they do, they may not be in a way that we wanted. BUT they are in a way that Allah decides for us. As Mumtaz Mufti used to say, "mannay mai bara sukh hai". We must accept and with acceptance, comes peace.

Faroha Liaqat
http://avoiceforislam.blogspot.com

A story of hope vs desperation

Sometimes, life brings us to a point of utter desperation, when every thing seems to be going wrong. It is not only a perception but Murphy's law becomes a reality. I read about it in "Peer-e-Kamil" as well when Salaar Sikander was completely and truly humiliated, frustrated and desperate when he asked Allah for mercy. I have seen it in real life many times. I know well enough that such times are tests, severe in intensity, hard to bear but they inevitably end and happier times follow. In fact, the happiness that follows is much bigger in intensity. I know all this and it's a very strange feeling; this knowledge that whatever is happening is due to a reason and is a test, not a punishment, not an aazmaish. I find solace in the Quranic verse "Verily, after hardship is relief". I know that Allah takes great tests of the people He loves; the stronger the faith, the greater the trial. I know precisely the bigger reason of such instances: God testing our faith and increasing it; looking at our patience and seeing if we complain or accept. Still, sometimes despite all such knowledge, it becomes hard to bear and desperation sets in and starts killing hope.
Losing hope is one of the worst things that can happen to human beings. It takes every thing away with it and everything appears bleak. What I love about Islam is its inherent message of hope, always hoping for Allah's mercy, always asking for His forgiveness, always thinking that He knows us and looks inside our hearts. I have a firm belief that Allah never turns away one who seeks Him and asks Him. I firmly believe in a God that loves. Allah's mercy overpowers His anger and in times of hopelessness when nothing makes sense, this makes perfect sense to me. I feel Him looking into my heart and overpowering me with His mercy.
We, humans, have ups and downs, passions and failures and a life that is not always fair. I have stopped wondering long ago about the apparent inequality of hardships borne by good and not so good people. I have long accepted that sometimes, it is better to let go and not try to understand. One day, it all makes sense. Allah jo chahta hai, us me raazi ho jana chahiye, is me bara sukh hai. It is not giving up; it is just putting down our burden and giving it up to God.I have long since learnt that the road to achieving Deen lies through terrible hardships and there is just no shortcut. The best way to is through it. Pain and suffering have the ability of bringing out the best in us. Like a washing machine wrings and spins clothes, hardships shuffle us and clean us through and through, provided we look at it this way.
I find no other way of looking at it. This is the only perceptive that offers hope and redemption. True, it is hard but when did calm seas ever make skilled sailors?
So, keeping my faith and love for Allah in my heart, I walk with closed eyes on a path full of stones, believing that I will come out in light sooner or later.

Faroha Liaqat
http://avoiceforislam.blogspot.com

A step into the unknown

I do not know if it is only me who feels this restlessness about the unknown sometimes. I have always admired people who seem to be able to move from one episode of their life to the next with perfect ease. It is not as if I have not done it myself; I have also frequently taken the plunge but not without any trepidation and misgivings of what comes next. Whether it is moving to university, going to a different country or just meeting new people, I simply can not get rid of the nagging doubts and worries. I feel that the people who do not worry frequently enjoy their life the most.

That restlessness is upon me again. The idea of change has always filled me with foreboding but I know change is necessary. One of my German professors said a very meaningful thing to me last August. He told me that it is necessary to complete one thing before starting on a new phase. An end signifies not only the end, but a beginning as well. The simple statement touched me and allayed some of my fears. I know it would seem very trivial to someone but sometimes in our lives, all of us are afraid of what the future holds. For the past few years, I have kept telling myself that every thing will turn out to be for the best, that I trust Allah and Allah will help me overcome all the obstacles. I was never let down in my belief and this is what holds me together now when I stare into the darkness and make myself ready to walk into it, perhaps through it to light.

Faroha Liaqat
http://avoiceforislam.blogspot.com

The old-world charm

It is one of those days when the old world charm of books and period dramas have come to haunt me. Haunt is a wrong word, perhaps. I should rather say I am enchanted with the world of Jane Austen and Charles Dickens. I feel the pull generations have felt before me, of the pleasures of classics. Recently, I chanced to watch BBC adaptations of Dicken's and Austen. "Bleak House" haunted me and left me with the sweetness of unselfish life. I was mesmerized with the haughty demeanor of Lady Deadlock and the constancy of Dr Woodhouse. And then I came across BBC's "Pride and Prejudice", 1995 version. All my love for the book returned. I was transferred to a world so, so different from ours. I was enamored by Mr Darcy's attitude and Elizabeth's playfulness. "Sense and Sensibility" pulled at my heart strings. I dug up all the period dramas and kept watching and lost count of time.
I admit that these are not the times when people love classics; it is more the age of Fast and Furious. However, I can't help wondering if we have lost some of the old world charm, the small pleasures, the calmness and serenity, the depth of feeling? I may be a hopeless romantic but seeing period dramas and reading classics make me long for a little more substance in this present world of ours. I fear passions are superficial and not long lasting usually (or at least this is what I see around or we see in movies and television as well as in real life). I believe the quality of  integrity and principles do not hold a place in today's world that honors money and beauty more than character. I wish dearly that more people would take the trouble to read not only the present works but the masterpieces of old. Reading opens the mind and takes you to a  world different from ours.
These sound like the ravings of a hopeless  romantic but believe me, we would all do well to retain some good things from the past :)

Faroha Liaqat
http://avoiceforislam.blogspot.com