Let me be very clear at the start - this is not a post thrashing Pakistan and its people. I could never dream of doing it. This post mainly invites the Pakistani people to introspect and look at how we are evolving as a society - perhaps this introspection could make some of us strive for betterment.
Writing, for me, always comes out of frustration. These words are a means by which I get rid of the demons tearing me apart and these days, I am being increasingly bothered by the crass attitudes of many people in our society. Not to forget, Pakistan boasts of some of the nicest, friendly and hospitable people I have ever encountered. Our society is full of people who offer help, advice, support without any ulterior motive.This is what separates us from the West - I have lived long enough there to witness the self-centered behavior and the consumerism of the Western society. I always longed to be back among my own people, where one is never short of shoulders to cry on, help that comes out of the blue, a coherent family structure and an abundance of love.
Let's come to the frustrating part now. Sometimes, we in the Pakistani society, take our interference in others' affairs too far and the sky is the limit for many of us. I am sure each of us has encountered nosy "aunties" inquiring about your personal affairs, "uncles" who provide advice with thinly veiled disapproval, women who are jealous of another woman's success, men who think a girl who knows her mind and is vocal about views is to be looked down upon. The cutting point is that all of this is done in the name of Islam. I mean, seriously! The Islam I know does not allow jealousy, envy, hatred and backbiting. The Islam I know does not count prayers as much as it values your honesty, truthfulness and a pure heart. Do we forget that it is not our bodies, glittering jewels and fine clothes that impress Allah but it is our pure heart and Imaan that Allah values? What kind of a society are we turning into? A society that is blindly following Western consumerism on one hand and ultra conservatism on the other? Have we forgotten the importance of striking a balance between Deen and Duniya? Why do I witness so many hypocrites around - people who do not tire of preaching a set of values they do not practice?
I am not talking about the Mullahs. I am talking about the normal people- educated people like us who have such double standards. I am not angered but hurt- deeply hurt - by the things I am seeing very frequently all around since I have returned to Pakistan. I was never one to be impressed by appearances but I am amazed at how important the exterior - beauty, wealth, status, job, money - has become for us. People do not tire of saying how important manners, education, character, truth and honesty are but they will never prefer these characteristics in real life in a poor and average looking person. I am also a part of the same society and I am disgusted at what we are fast becoming. Thankfully, I dislike consumerism; I still abhor a false character and lies; I still value character over money but I wonder for how long? I fear about the impact of this society on our lives and I am disturbed at the careless, unfeeling attitude of the people around. It hurts me to see people who have one standard for others and a different moral standard for themselves. Things like this make me hopeless. It gets stifling sometimes and I wish we evolve as a society in the way Islam defines a perfect, moral human being - just, honest, truthful, patient, tolerant and helping.
I wish I could end at a cheerful note but it's just one of those days when a weight bears down upon my soul. I am sure this world is full of nice and kind people - I just wish we have some more.
Dr. Faroha Liaqat
http://avoiceforislam.blogspot.com
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