I am a humanist; is it too much to ask for my rights?

So let's get this straight right at the start. I am not a feminist but I am a strong, independent, highly educated, intelligent young woman. I am a humanist. Period. Why is it so hard for some people, or may I say a large number of people, to accept this?

I am not here to rant against men - I would rather speak up against attitudes that some men and women have. This has nothing to do with Trump being elected as President of the United States, though that is an example of how sexism and bigotry is a norm almost everywhere. I used to think the West may not have such problems but the longer I lived there, the more I realized that people and trends are the same regardless of location. Men simply do not like strong, independent women who also happen to be successful. Of course, this problem can be disguised or suppressed in the developed world mainly due to a culture of political correctness, discrimination laws, equality and diversity, etc etc. The developing world has some of these laws but none of the enforcement. Result: a grossly misogynistic culture where a successful, single, independent, strong woman has to be suspected because she is such an anomaly in a patriarchal society.

I may be feeling the effects of reverse cultural shock. My years in Europe may have changed my thinking. I may be too highly educated and have a high moral compass. But there are many other men and women like me. What I don't get is when these educated people show similar orthodox tendencies. Why are women such enemies of their own sex? Why do men see an intelligent woman with a mind of her own as a threat? Why is being traditionally conservative a virtue and originality of thought a sin?

I realize that the world is not black and white; there are good people everywhere. I am just writing about tendencies which are there, despite decades of progress and education. I despair sometimes of these prevailing attitudes, though I see a silver lining through the clouds. Either I am a misfit in a traditional society which I choose to call home and love despite its faults or I am too naive to admit that some things just don't change. It does not matter if a woman is intelligent enough to beat most of her contemporaries - she is still a woman and is expected to compromise and bow out of the race or at least accept that she will not win. There is nothing wrong with preferring family over any thing else - indeed, I do it myself. But it does hurt when you are judged solely on this ability and you see men of much less ability being able to get away with almost every thing.

As I said, I am a humanist. I believe in a balance of rights regardless of gender, location, ethnicity, faith, etc. It is clearly too much to ask in Pakistan. I will always be judged on my age, sex, family status, ability to compromise, etc and not on my capabilities, intelligence, efficiency. If I am in the West, I will probably be sidelined in a few places because I am not white, a Muslim, an outsider and a woman who follows her faith. There are too many stereotypes and too many fault lines and there are days when this oppresses my spirit. However, a fighter fights his/her way through and I am a fighter and a rebel. Always have been, always will be.

Dr. Faroha Liaqat

http://avoiceforislam.blogspot.com

Pakistani Society: Morals vs Materialism

Sometimes I wonder what kind of a people we are turning into? By "we", I mean the Pakistanis in particular. Make no mistake - I love my country, absolutely love it and there is no place that gives me more happiness. However, I am sometimes amazed at the recent change in the attitude of the youth here. So much materialism, so little value for character! I belong to the same generation and yet I find such a widely different viewpoint in most people few years younger to me. Maybe my years of travelling abroad and living in Europe have made me wiser - some would say I have become an idealist. However, as the years pass, character and morals become more and more important to me. I am not swayed by materialistic things as easily as I see many people affected around me and it saddens me greatly.

I have left a job in UK recently because it made me unhappy - miserable even -and I felt Pakistan was calling. This was a step that I don't think many people would have taken but I made the gamble. Back in Pakistan now, I am dismayed by people's attitudes - all they want is to move abroad, by hook or by crook. I do understand the lure of foreign lands, prosperity and travel but what saddens me is the extent to which people are willing to go to achieve their ends. There is no decency in any argument unfortunately and God forbid if a girl chooses to argue! The older generation was more polite - the current one is losing manners (not all, I hope).

I do not regret my decision to be back for now but I do wonder about the future. Travelling changes you and places change you. I am a very different person than the innocent, shy girl who ventured abroad to study 7, 8 years ago. I think independently and have strong opinions; I value character and honesty; and I hate hyprocrisy and duplicity - something that made my workplace miserable for me in UK. I see a lot of duplicity around me. I don't understand the need of invoking Islam at every point when you don't let the Deen seep through to your heart. If faith doesn't make you a better human, you are a lost soul and there is no need to pretend otherwise. Maybe it's just been a week and I would change again, though I am very much afraid to be disillusioned by the changing place that is Pakistan nowadays. Progress is good but it need not be at the expense of decency.

Dr. Faroha Liaqat
http://avoiceforislam.blogspot.com

Coke Studio Pakistan: A Symbol of Our Growing Nationalism

It's been a while since I have written anything and this post is prompted by a recent discussion I had with an Indian music critic of my acquaintance. Naturally, we talked about Coke Studio, a phenomenon that has taken over the Sub-Continent for the last many years but recently more so. My acquaintance pointed out this article to me written in the Express Tribune (http://tribune.com.pk/story/1165475/justice-and-remembrance/ ) and asked my opinion about the growing "misplaced nationalism" (as he called it) in the Pakistanis, giving Coke Studio's recent seasons as an example. I do agree with some parts of this Tribune article due to my thinking that a failure to protect citizens from blatant, senseless murder should not be sold in the garb of sacrifices made for the nation and I am glad that a growing majority of people in Pakistan now speak up about it if Pakistani media discussions are any indication. However, as a Pakistani, I understand and endorse the cause for celebration Pakistanis generally feel for all the good things we have seen emerging in the country in recent times after the turbulent decade we have been through - no matter if these reasons come from arts, music, writings, drama, film or anything distinctly ours, overtly Pakistani.

It is hard to explain to someone who has not seen this himself/herself, as this is a side of mainstream Pakistan rarely reflected in the media. We Pakistanis own our lot with a heart that flows with pride and we celebrate the good news with a fervour that borders on desperation. Coke Studio is a case in point. The nationalism we see being exhibited in Coke Studio is something we see everywhere in Pakistan these days and this is not state-dictated - it is felt and shown by ordinary people, particularly the youth. I do not remember young people from ten years ago wearing their patriotism on their sleeves and celebrating their identity in such a way as now and it warms my heart. This pride and sense of belonging is rampant in the Pakistan of today, from the political rallies of Imran Khan where people from poor to upper middle class to elite backgrounds dance on national anthems; to watching our home grown TV channels, be they news or drama, with Star Plus as a distant memory of the past; to thronging our cinemas to watch mediocre local movies just because they are ours; to our celebration of PSL T20 which had us hooked and screaming in delight; to our wearing of clothing showing anything Pakistani; to grown up men and women crying unashamedly while singing the national anthem in the Qaddafi stadium last year when cricket came home; to our celebrations of any positive news we see about Pakistan.

We are a strange people. I have never seen any other nation laughing at their own mistakes and faults and cursing them as much as we do and at the same time, we are so much in love with our identity. From the discussions with your fruit wallah to your colleagues to friends and family, this "owning our faults and strengths" is such an undercurrent in our conversation. We just love to own anything ours and Coke Studio is a huge symbol of "us", the us we want to show the world, the us that is mainstream. That is why we love it when we see the tagline "Sound of the nation" and well up when we hear "Sohni dharti" and "Raah e Haq". Coke studio is not just catering to the populist sentiment - these feelings are shared by many people in our music and drama industry, a fact that shows itself when stars like Ali Zafar speak about investing their everything in studios in Pakistan, when the industry comes together for Shaukat Khanum fundraisers - it is not just philantrophy they are after - we want to build our own infrastructure, something we have done quite well. Coke Studio is mainly reflecting modern day Pakistan. The show may have gone overboard once or twice but largely, it's loved because it depicts us and that's why it draws all the flak on Twitter and YouTube when it starts sounding Bollywood-ish. We may consume Bollywood but we do love our own identity and this sentiment has never been as strong as now.

I may be ranting here but truly, this is something I and countless of my friends have noticed about the Pakistan of today. I have lived abroad for the last 7 years in different countries and every time I go home (which to me is always Pakistan), after every 6 months or an year, I am struck by the national fervour and great progress there. All of this may have escaped my notice had I been living in Pakistan but I and my friends all react in a similar way when we are in Pakistanfor a visit or are freshly back. There is such a sense of belonging even in people who wish to get a foreign passport - you can never really "un-Pakistan" yourself, not that I would ever wish to. This never ceases to amaze me. What is it about today's main stream Pakistan that evokes such love, such pride, such passion? I don't know the answer but I do know about my racing heart while I write these words and this only means that I am desperately in love with my homeland

So  my dear Indian friends or any one who cares to listen: we are not being "in your face" when we celebrate the "sound of the nation". We are just celebrating ourselves and our lighter side. You see our warmth, our joy and our pride. You see a face of mainstream Pakistan that is very much real. It's not directed at any one else - it is a personal reminder that we are good. Yes, we can be better but we love ourselves as we are, flawed but loveable and anything that is our very own.

Dedicated to the "Sohni dharti" I very much love.

Dr. Faroha Liaqat

http://avoiceforislam.blogspot.com

Struggles with Self!

There are days and times when you just want OUT, although there is a question mark over what "Out" is. It seems to be one of those days when I am bone-tired - tired of rising up to people's expectations, tired of fighting, tired of the hypocrisy that surrounds us, of the double standards that disgust me. I know all of us feel this tiredness some time or the other when we feel weighed down by too many things and want some real quiet and peace. I feel on the verge of tears and these are not tears of sadness but of exhaustion. I have this overwhelming desire of being understood and this indescribable feeling of isolation from even the closest of friends. It is as if I am looking at my own life cynically as an outsider and thoroughly disapproving of the person I have become or the situations I lead myself into. 

This is weird. I see it all, I understand the reasons and I am utterly defeated by my own headstrong self. I often wonder what made me build so many walls around myself, walls that others have tried hard to scale and failed. This is a struggle with my own self and an increasingly futile one. Parallel to this is an even greater struggle - a struggle to come to terms with the mad world I see around me. I used to think that Pakistan suffers from this problem of duplicity and double standards but how wrong I was! It is every where in the world and to a much larger extent in some places. I fail to come to terms with a world where double standards are the norm, dishonesty disguised as tact is the order of the day and morality is looked down upon.

 I was never a fan of capitalism and I see where it has brought our societies but I am always saddened by the pull money has on even the best of people. I do not underestimate the importance of money but is this every thing? I think not! What is richness? An excess of money or a satisfaction with life, a peace with being, family, enough for necessities of life, love, care or even the smile of a child? The answer is clear to me but I am afraid that I am the minority in this increasingly materialistic world.

There are words and thoughts waiting to burst out of me but they fail at my lips. I have no shortage of friends - indeed, I am one of the luckiest people when it comes to friendship- but somehow writing becomes my solace. I have now come to the point where I think none can understand the dpeth of my feelings except Allah. To Him alone, I don't need to say anything -He knows without being told and pours balm into my wounds. Faith is my saviour when the world threatens to tear me apart.

Dr. Faroha Liaqat

http://avoiceforislam.blogspot.com

To be or not to be!

There are times in life when you have had enough - enough of trying to be strong, enough of confirming to an image of a successful, independent, strong-minded woman - jis ko hum Urdu mai kehte hain k "bas" ho gai hai. I know being a feminist is the "in" thing these days and I do support woman rights and all that but seriously, I get tired of being strong and independent-minded. Usually, there is nothing I would want more than being home with the people I most love, in the country that runs in my blood and  all the politically correct feminist thinking can go to the rubbish heap. It's a curious phenomenon. People never tire of telling me how they admire me and how successful and brilliant I am. I sigh and listen in silence but I can not help wondering whether I am too thankless or just aching for things that really matter. 

Life is not a story of black and whites, to-haves and goals to achieve. It's more like a road with pitfalls, smooth rides, flowers along the way and pebbles under the feet but one thing is permanent - change. It is not monotonous - that would be boring - but it is also not about reaching destinations. There is no outward destination - all that talk about achieving this and that is all very well but not what really matters. What matters is how happy you are along the way and how much you explore your inner self and come to peace with the ultimate truth. 

Every one of us has a unique story and a unique relationship with Allah. There are no hard and fast rules. Some things may come easy to some people and others may keep aching for them. I have found that if you ask people, almost all of them would say they have problems or they want something they have been unable to get. Satisfaction is not the strong point of humans. Nevertheless, I always wonder at this strange phenomenon of comparative success - what is success for one can be nothing but superficiality to the other.

The curious thing is that although I know about these things, have seen plenty of people of all types going through various phases in life; have seen people changing in unimaginable ways; have seen prayers come true in unexpected ways and yet, there are times I despair. Not of the mercy of God - no, never of that as I am sure that Allah's mercy overpowers His anger - but of how long it is possible to keep up a charade, of being strong, happy-go-lucky, brilliant and someone who you are not when all you want is to melt in the crowd, to be the girl next door.

Keeping appearances is hard and it isolates you from people. There are very, very few people who can actually look through the smoke and see the real you and value you as who you are. The others are just taken in by the flash and brilliance and you go on trying to be what people take you to be. It can be very exhausting. Only Allah knows hearts and I am glad, because if someone were to know what mine holds now, they would be overwhelmed by the intensity of emotions.

Faroha Liaqat

http://avoiceforislam.blogspot.com

Being different!

I sometimes wonder about the burden of being different - different in the sense of having the courage to make your own path instead of following the mainstream- different because your life follows a pattern that is not the norm. It does not mean at all that the norm is not good; I often think that most of the people leading average, ordinary lives exactly like their neighbors, colleagues, friends are often the happiest and the most satisfied. It is a blessing in a way to be doing what others are doing, to be leading a life where familiar patterns occur, to be in the mainstream.
It takes a lot of toll on one not to be a  part of the mainstream, to be always carving a narrow road for yourself that has not been trodden before. It makes one wonder what is wrong with oneself; why it has to happen in a different way but I have learnt now that this is one of the things that fate decides rather than us. There are some people to whom things happen, whose lives are full of dramas or experiences which are not common and they can do nothing about this. It is a sort of path one is forced to follow.
I am not sure if I am making myself very clear here or as to why I am writing this, probably to get out frustration about the whole poetry of it. Many people would say it's a blessing to be different, to be carving your own niche, to be leading life in a way that's not boring and I would agree with them for the most. However, I frequently wonder how burdensome it is in our society, how one constantly faces challenges and questions just because one happened to be having a different education, career, travel plans, life incidents and so on. It's a constant struggle to confirm to expected standards and discover in vain that this is not to be. We do not decide how our life shapes up, Allah does it for us. We do not decide our Rizk, relationships or place of residence - they choose us and I again find that nothing buut acceptance and faith in Allah will soothe a fluttering heart. In Allah, so we trust.

Dr. Faroha Liaqat
http://avoiceforislam.blogspot.com

The Pakistani Society - the good, the bad and the ugly

Let me be very clear at the start - this is not a post thrashing Pakistan and its people. I could never dream of doing it. This post mainly invites the Pakistani people to introspect and look at how we are evolving as a society - perhaps this introspection could make some of us strive for betterment.

Writing, for me, always comes out of frustration. These words are a means by which I get rid of the demons tearing me apart and these days, I am being increasingly bothered by the crass attitudes of many people in our society. Not to forget, Pakistan boasts of some of the nicest, friendly and hospitable people I have ever encountered. Our society is full of people who offer help, advice, support without any ulterior motive.This is what separates us from the West - I have lived long enough there to witness the self-centered behavior and the consumerism of the Western society. I always longed to be back among my own people, where one is never short of shoulders to cry on, help that comes out of the blue, a coherent family structure and an abundance of love.

Let's come to the frustrating part now. Sometimes, we in the Pakistani society, take our interference in others' affairs too far and the sky is the limit for many of us. I am sure each of us has encountered nosy "aunties" inquiring about your personal affairs, "uncles" who provide advice with thinly veiled disapproval, women who are jealous of another woman's success, men who think a girl who knows her mind and is vocal about views is to be looked down upon. The cutting point is that all of this is done in the name of Islam. I mean, seriously! The Islam I know does not allow jealousy, envy, hatred and backbiting. The Islam I know does not count prayers as much as it values your honesty, truthfulness and a pure heart. Do we forget that it is not our bodies, glittering jewels and fine clothes that impress Allah but it is our pure heart and Imaan that Allah values? What kind of a society are we turning into? A society that is blindly following Western consumerism on one hand and ultra conservatism on the other? Have we forgotten the importance of striking a balance between Deen and Duniya? Why do I witness so many hypocrites around - people who do not tire of preaching a set of values they do not practice?

I am not talking about the Mullahs. I am talking about the normal people- educated people like us who have such double standards. I am not angered but hurt- deeply hurt - by the things I am seeing very frequently all around since I have returned to Pakistan. I was never one to be impressed by appearances but I am amazed at how important the exterior - beauty, wealth, status, job, money - has become for us. People do not tire of saying how important manners, education, character, truth and honesty are but they will never prefer these characteristics in real life in a poor and average looking person. I am also a part of the same society and I am disgusted at what we are fast becoming. Thankfully, I dislike consumerism; I still abhor a false character and lies; I still value character over money but I wonder for how long? I fear about the impact of this society on our lives and I am disturbed at the careless, unfeeling attitude of the people around. It hurts me to see people who have one standard for others and a different moral standard for themselves. Things like this make me hopeless. It gets stifling sometimes and I wish we evolve as a society in the way Islam defines a perfect, moral human being - just, honest, truthful, patient, tolerant and helping.

I wish I could end at a cheerful note but it's just one of those days when a weight bears down upon my soul. I am sure this world is full of nice and kind people - I just wish we have some more.

Dr. Faroha Liaqat
http://avoiceforislam.blogspot.com

The old-world charm

It is one of those days when the old world charm of books and period dramas have come to haunt me. Haunt is a wrong word, perhaps. I should rather say I am enchanted with the world of Jane Austen and Charles Dickens. I feel the pull generations have felt before me, of the pleasures of classics. Recently, I chanced to watch BBC adaptations of Dicken's and Austen. "Bleak House" haunted me and left me with the sweetness of unselfish life. I was mesmerized with the haughty demeanor of Lady Deadlock and the constancy of Dr Woodhouse. And then I came across BBC's "Pride and Prejudice", 1995 version. All my love for the book returned. I was transferred to a world so, so different from ours. I was enamored by Mr Darcy's attitude and Elizabeth's playfulness. "Sense and Sensibility" pulled at my heart strings. I dug up all the period dramas and kept watching and lost count of time.
I admit that these are not the times when people love classics; it is more the age of Fast and Furious. However, I can't help wondering if we have lost some of the old world charm, the small pleasures, the calmness and serenity, the depth of feeling? I may be a hopeless romantic but seeing period dramas and reading classics make me long for a little more substance in this present world of ours. I fear passions are superficial and not long lasting usually (or at least this is what I see around or we see in movies and television as well as in real life). I believe the quality of  integrity and principles do not hold a place in today's world that honors money and beauty more than character. I wish dearly that more people would take the trouble to read not only the present works but the masterpieces of old. Reading opens the mind and takes you to a  world different from ours.
These sound like the ravings of a hopeless  romantic but believe me, we would all do well to retain some good things from the past :)

Faroha Liaqat
http://avoiceforislam.blogspot.com

The Pakistani attitude!

I wonder why it is sometimes so hard in this big world to make someone understand your point. The curse of being misunderstood follows me every where. Generally, I like to keep away from arguments among Pakistanis. Sadly, we Pakistanis love to argue without being neutral and unbiased. We usually tend to do every effort to prove our point bringing in religion, society, old age prejudices,and our own thinking. I have often found myself in situations where every sane argument is thrown out of the window and bias decides who is the winner. Today is one of those days I am fed up. Where is the dispassionate, out of the box thinking we desperately need as a nation? Why are we still so blindly prejudiced by sect, caste, religion and the system? Why do we love to harass and ridicule any one who dares to differ?

It is not to say that every one is like this. However, I am alarmed by the growing intolerance in all sections of our society. I am not talking about extremism but our general attitudes. We Pakistanis, lack the patience to stand in queues, we do not agree to give any other our way on the road; we refuse to budge on our position on societal issues; we refuse to appreciate an opponent's view even when he is right; we love to distort history and questions any one's patriotism when some one points out the error and I have not even started on how people manipulate religion to suit their needs. The list is never-ending.

This kind of behaviour irks me, specially when I find it among well-educated people. Why do we always tend to divide society among "liberals" and "conservatives"? Why do we have to prove our adherence to religion, to people instead of God? As a society, this kind of questioning and bias is not going to do us any favour. Every one of us must learn and implement the core concept of Islam; it is a "Deen" and not only just a religion. It is a way of life. A Muslim is a character; not a mere figurehead. The virtues of patience, justice and tolerance are highly valued in the Quran not only because they are good but because they serve a purpose.

Iqbal saw this duplicity long ago when he differentiated between "Kirdaar" and "Guftaar" ka ghaazi. This is the irony; we all say we love Islam but do we? If we loved it, we would have entered into it with our heart and soul. If we feared God, we would have feared hurting His creation. if we knew what fasaad was, we would have stopped being "liberals and conservatives" and start being human. How saddening and ironic.

Faroha Liaqat
http://avoiceforislam.blogspot.com

And Pakistan dares to hope!

I have been slowly driven to write this post, impressed by the sweeping tide of patriotism around me. It came gradually but now it is in full swing, this sense of Pakistan being on the verge of change and the hope it brings. Every where I look, every one I know, irrespective of where they are, are infused with an energy that is intoxicating to say the least. Pakistan has finally dared to hope and the reason is Imran Khan.

It is hard not to be impressed by Imran Khan. The guy is absolutely indefatigable, courageous and persistent in the pursuit of victory. It takes guts to challenge the status quo in Pakistan and he has done it. Everyone told him he was a political outsider and Pakistani politics is not a game of cricket. People laughed at him and he took it all, sacrificed his marriage for the sake of his cause and came all this way to become a serious game changer in Pakistan. One can have problems with some of his ideology or plans but it is impossible not to admire him. He simply refused to admit defeat and gave his all to one cause. It is a great example of single-mindedness and purpose. Some people always remain in the spotlight, for good or bad reasons. It seems to be Imran's destiny to always be a hero. He is an achiever, he is lucky and that's part of his appeal to the people of Pakistan.

However, his hero status is not the reason of my writing this post. I write this as I am simply thrilled to see Pakistan changing in front of my eyes. It is not a concrete change in the system; it's the change in the people that is so inspiring. We, the people of Pakistan, who had lost all hope of ever putting things to right, have finally woken up and are advocating for change, a "Naya Pakistan". It is astonishing how people from all sections of society believe in Imran's message of hope. I do not know why it resonates with so many people; may be this was what we all secretly wanted but knew would never happen; may be there is a romantic in all of us; may be it is his philanthropy and honesty that draws us. It is impossible to lay a finger on what is the exact reason of why people believe in Imran Khan. We just do. For my part, I think he is honest and has good intentions but for me his biggest achievement is something else. He forced us to wake up from slumber and claim a stake in Pakistan. I am moved by his love for his country and by the change he has inspired in people. Pakistan will never be the same again.

I do not want to sound idealistic and I am not. Nothing's going to change overnight but one irrevocable change has already happened. We, the people of Pakistan, want to vote. We think change can come through the ballot and we are willing to bring about that change. It does not matter now if Imran Khan becomes PM this time or not. He is already a winner. He may be naive, a novice to the art of politics but I do not doubt his intentions. He has infused Pakistan with hope and something to look forward to.I can feel the pulsating rhythm and be proud to witness that finally, we own our land, our problems and want to fix them. Imran Khan, you may win or lose the election but you have definitely won our hearts. May Allah bless you

Faroha Liaqat
http://abvoiceforislam.blogspot.com

The price of being human

We all are unique in our own ways but we must change as time passes so that our personality may evolve. We must learn from our mistakes to make our judgement and our life better. However, sometimes I get fed up of being myself. I wish to be another person, one who has more common sense, a clear head and less sincerity. I sometimes think that all the good lessons we learn as children, honesty, sincerity, giving without expectations, etc, are misplaced in this selfish and greedy world. I know this is not true. All of these are beautiful qualities which make us human but they are rare in an increasingly materialistic world. Even though I know the value of such emotions, I wish not to have them sometimes.I did not always understand why it was so that good people usually suffered in life; why was life unfair? Then I realized that this is God's way of implanting the qualities of patience and tolerance in them; a way of checking who is stable and willing to put God over the temporary worldly gains.
Worldly gain can not only be money. It can be love, fame, respect, status, a degree or a good name. Every one of us has our own price and God judges us in the things dearest to us. I know all this but still, it is sometimes very hard to reconcile myself to the idea that it is hard to change one's nature. I will always be as I am now; even if I try to change myself willingly, some remnants of the person I was will always remain within me. I must get used to being  the one on the receiving end and someday it will stop hurting so much. But the question remains: why are humans often unmindful of those who love them best? It is strange perhaps but true. We carve for love all our lives and when we get it, it loses its significance and we go off on the pursuit of some thing else. Humans are strange creatures.

Alone in a crowd

I was always a loner, even in company. I have this disgusting habit of not connecting with people on a personal level, even though they may feel I connect quite easily. The truth is, I don't. I just act very well. But somehow, all this pretense gets too much for me sometimes. I have this insane urge to break free now, to let go, to be myself. It is always dangerous to build barrages around feelings; once the barrier is gone, the emotions come out with much more intensity. I feel this right now, the faint murmur of pent-up emotions that can become a dangerous roar any moment, threatening to blow me away with their force. However, I can do nothing.

What makes this much harder is that I am away from family and friends. They are the ones who know me, with whom I am always sure of unconditional love and support. I am sick of all this play-acting. I don't want to be a nice girl any more, always saying the right thing, always being politically correct. The reality. however is, that this is a world that honours duplicity and diplomacy. Straight talking finds few fans here.

So this pice of writing is the only place where I can let go, other than in prayer. I already feel an easing of the stifled feeling I had. I know this suffocation happens in life but it is always nice to have people around you who understand you without saying a word. I miss this quiet understanding and acceptance in life here in Germany. I am a stranger living a strange life among strangers.

Faroha Liaqat
http://avoiceforislam.blogspot.com

What's missing?

Writing is always such a blessing; it makes my heavy-heartedness go away. That's why I always turn to it when I feel overburdened with the impact of my own feelings.

It must be something in the air that makes me so restless. So hot and still during the day and so balmy in the evening. Even this weather transition has done nothing to cure me of this emptiness. This loneliness gnaws at my heart and threatens to tear it in pieces. I long for my friends and my family with whom I can be myself. I wish for their understanding and the ease with which I can tell them what's bothering me. I am disturbed by this silence. Europe may have many pleasures and attractions but one of its biggest disadvantage is the loneliness it offers to every one. The fast life doesn't make you realize it what a key component of happiness in life is missing here but it becomes apparent as soon as any time is available.

I wish I was in Islamabad right now, thinking of who to talk to and who not to. I wish for that comfort of sharing the beautiful weather in silence with people I love so much. I appreciate now the small things that make life so beautiful because I don't have them now. I can not be complete without the sense of belonging and love that comes from being in Islamabad. I remember the times I used to see the falling rain with my sister through the window and inhale the fresh air. I remember the walks I took in spring last year. It is spring again and I miss it so much. Birds also chirp here, the weather is beautiful, the air is balmy but there is no happiness. What is spring when the heart craves for some "apnapan", some belonging, some real carefree happiness?

I know that it is necessary to move on and one has to loose a great deal to earn much. Still, it makes me wonder why on earth it has to be so? I remember Faiz again this evening " Sar e koye nashanayian, hamay din se raat karna. Kabhi is se baat karna, akbhi us se baat karna"....

I have no words that could describe this intense feeling. I stand on the balcony, look over at the glimmering city lights and the river in the distance and an think of only one thing. I miss the people I love.

Faroha Liaqat
http://avoiceforislam.blogspot.com

Deliberate provocation or freedom of expression?

       I fail to understand why they keep doing it again and again? Haven't the people advocating freedom of expression understood by now that depictions of Holy Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) are considered blasphemous and will cause fury int he Muslim world?Yet, they publish and re-publish the caricatures,  make crude references in comedy programmes and now run sketching contests on facebook! Does the world really feel that this time, the Muslims won't be hurt and will take it in their stride? Every Muslim is a fundamentalist when it comes to protecting Muhammad (PBUH)'s honour and it's a truth the sooner the world learns, the better.

       That said, I must say I don't like the way Pakistan has reacted to the online contest. Of course, everyone is hurt and angered; I was distressed when I saw some of the depictions on the page, but is banning whole websites the solution? Now, there is a huge vaccum in the cyberspace that the growing middle class and urban population used to vent their opinion in.Pakistan could have blocked the specific URLs, compalined officially to facebook and youtube, made diplomatic remonstrances; we could have countered the hatemongerers via the media they had used; but now there is vaccum. the world cannot hear the Pakistani voice.

       I wish there could have been another way to show the world that we care about this sensitive topic, that we are hurt by your actions and you should listen to why it is blasphemous. But there seems to be no way the deaf world can hear our protests. Even now, they seem to be wondering what's all the fuss about. I know that even if facebook is restored today, many users would delete their accounts; it has lost its respect but do we, the western world and the Muslims, need to resort to such extreme measures to tell the other side of our view?

      I often wonder what the Prophet would have done. He would most probably have ignored the whole episode and have tried to explain to the other people why depictions of any prophet are blasphemous in Islam. Sadly, we, the Muslims, rarely wonder anymore what the prophet would have done. We love him too much and give knew-jerk reactions. Muhammad (PBUH) was patient, loved people, genuinely cared for them, was tolerant and would never have resorted to violence to fight people for his own cause. We have come a long way from the spirit of Islam in Medina and I long for the road that would make us go back or rather forward towards peace.

Faroha Liaqat

The road ahead

Sometimes I wonder why temptations come in the way exactly at the moments when one has to make the toughest decisions. Why is it so that when one wants to finally break away from the past and make a new beginning, when one has gathered the courage to take the first stride and when it's time to start, a temptation that's hard to resist beckons you and makes you drag your feet; you would love to give up resisting, to turn back to something you've always wanted and yet.............Is this the trial, the "azmaish"?
It's hard to view life from a logical perspective in every respect. Sometimes logic fails and one is helpless, unable to understand, unable to make head or tail of your life. I once read in a book that at such moments when one feels lost, it is best to give up trying to make a sense out of things and accept life as it is, though acceptance is hard to come  by. After all, we are not in the driving seats. I am fatalist when I say that we are all prisoners of fate at sometime or other in our lives. I remember Hazrat Ali when a man asked him how much control we have over our fate and Ali asked him to stand on one leg, which he did. But when Ali asked him to take both his legs off the ground, he was helpless. The answer was: this is the extent up to which you can master your fate.
So, it's better sometimes to give up, to accept that perhaps fate might be too much for you. But at other instants, it's better to fight your way to put the first step on the long, narrow, hard road that leads to God. The demons may call you back, the temptations may hold your feet, but fight and God will give you the strength to master your fate. Whom God beckons, nothing can stop.

Faroha Liaqat

The narrow path

Every one of us, at some time of our life, comes to a stage where we face total and complete darkness; when we face the inevitable shattering of our ideals; where we learn that this world is an unfair place and full of cruelty and injustice. For most of us, this is the make or break moment; many of the people let go of their beliefs or ideals and go with the tide. To advance in their life, they adopt the same ways of the world that they deplore. Very few dare to go through "the narrow gate", as Karen Armstrong points out. The narrow road may be tough and full of pitfalls, but it's straight, " the Siraat e Mustakeem".....but how, oh how, to be on the straight path when your happiness was taken away from you by all unfair means? You see, the crossroads where you decide the path your life will take.

I know life is unfair; I know it's hard to stick to truth and honesty and principles, when everywhere you see people doing everything to achieve their own end. At this time, the words of a famous scholar echo in my mind " Allah tests you by the individual level of your faith; the stronger your faith is, the greater is the trial"....and then another quote resonates with me "The mercy of Allah is greater than HIS wrath".....

I am forced to acknowledge that I am a helpless human when it comes to God. The world doesn't stop to listen to us even when our own universe is tumbling down. It is God and only God who supports us, gives us strength and guides us along the narrow path step by step. Deep down, there is a feeling of happiness at being guided to the right path, but the sense of injustice one has received at the hands of the people may go away when one realizes that there is A GOD...the all-seeing......who will compensate you.....

For all the world may say, I still believe in "what goes around comes around" I still believe that there is mercy and justice in the court of God, not only in the Hereafter but in this world....I choose to stick to the old-fashioned belief that truth prevails in the end and good triumphs....

Faroha Liaqat

Is life fair?

Sometimes I wonder if there is any retribution in life, if there is any concept of ethics and morality still left or are such things just fancy thoughts and behavior only found in books. Is there any justice? As one sees around, many examples present themselves about life being unfair and one wonders what's the use of behaving well if all it comes to is heartburn and anguish?
But as life progresses, we see that though life may be unfair, God isn't. If one dearly loved thing is taken from us, we are blessed with another. We just fail to connect the dots but as we look back, we see that the entire picture was always taking shape for our good. These are not mere high-sounding words or idealistic thinking. This turns out to be absolutely true. I refuse to agree with people who say there is no fairness in life. There is, though life does not offer itself to us in the way we expect it to. It takes a different turn and brings us unexpectedly to a place where God makes us see how HE has given us back what HE took from us, in a much better way.
Though there is heartburn at present, there may be satisfaction in future. This is the way I choose to look at things because, otherwise, there's nothing but gloomy thoughts to entertain. I firmly believe in thsi worse of the Holy Quran " Hal Jaza-ul Ehsan-e- ill-al ehsan".....A good deed is returned by a good deed only.
I know the right path is hard to follow but it is this narrow gate that leads to fulfillment and peace.

Jinnah- A better Muslim

Some people are revered in their life and some after their death. There is no doubt that Jinnah was a legend in his own lifetime and lives on in people's memories long after he is dead to the world. But he continues to be one of the least understood and enigmatic leaders in history. It is a strange fact that Jinnah is revered in Pakistan as the Quaid-i-Azam (The great leader) but portrayed as a villain in neighboring India. He is termed as arrogant, a divider and a cold-hearted man; yet in Pakistan he's seen to be a man of principles, a just and truthful, honest man. Yet how can the two faces of the same man so irreconcilable?
Ali Jinnah's biggest crime in the eyes of Indians is the division of United India on the basis of religion; yet the same man is considered to be the saviour of Muslims of the Sub-Continent by demanding and achieving a state for them. Yet why did a man perceived to be secular demand partition on the basis of religion? There can be two reasons for that; the first being the biased attitudes of the nationalist Hindu leaders that led him to believe that progress of Muslims in a united India, after the British left, would be difficult under a resurgent Hindu majority. What, for me, is the second reason is that Jinnah may be a secular man in his daily habits, but he is the perfect example of a Muslim in his character. He was truthful, incorruptible, honest, a constitutionalist, just and loyal to the people who trusted him. I can only marvel at the honesty and sense of responsibility of a man who had the unwavering loyalty of the people and power; yet he refused to even eat a meal at his country's expense. I am amazed at his love for principles and his penchant to stand for truth. How many examples can a Muslim world boast of in recent history, that may even come near to Jinnah's stature? None. If he isn't a true Muslim in character, I don't know who is.
The problem with the present Muslim population in India is that they tend to see Jinnah as someone who divided India and left them at the mercy of the majority. They fail to see that this is exactly what Jinnah was trying to save them from. If partition had not happened, this would have been the exact fate of all the Muslims, not only the Muslims in present day India. Whenever I go out in the streets of Pakistan, I feel I have a right to this land; there is no one who claims to be more Pakistani than I, but an Indian Muslim cannot say the same thing, as his patriotism is always called into question on the basis of his religion. Why should not, then, the Pakistanis revere Jinnah as their great leader? I was deeply saddened when, on a recent visit to India, I had to hear anti-Jinnah remarks. A remarkable example of what teaching distorted history can do to minds.
As this December 25 passes, I again feel the pull that the great Quaid has on people's hearts. I pray that Allah bless him and enable us to be as honest, as incorruptible and as loyal, as Jinnah was.

Stand up to fight for our land!

This is going to be a fight to the finish, a fight we simply cannot afford to lose. We, the Pakistani people, are faced with a dilemma and thankfully, most of us, specially the younger generation taht constitutes about 60% of the population, have made the right choice. We are going to fight any one who challenges our right to Pakistan, our life styles, our freedom to pursue life as we live. We have started asking questions; questions that are addressed not only to the politicians, the Government, but questions that challenge some fundamental assumptions that are taken for granted.

In these days of uncertainty in Pakistan, the most heartening factor is the resurging patriotism and nationalism in the Pakistani youth and an emerging middle class that is increasingly vocal. We are no longer prepared to accept things just because they have always been done before. We are no longer afraid to voice dissent with the pre-established values because we have the media on our side that carries our voice to every home. We are no longer disappointed with the legal system because sometimes, amid all the clouds of corruption, we can see light at the end of the tunnel.

Sometimes, I am amazed at the changes around us, and heartened by the will to fight for our land among the common people. The common man of Pakistan is much more patriotic and nationalist than the so-called defenders of the constitution. Every where I go, I hear concern for Pakistan, underlining a deep love for the country we live in. I sense a feeling of ownership, which was never theer before. I sense the emotion among the youth to serve our land and their confidence that tehy can do it.This is heartening. It is as if we are witnessinga revolution, a changing trend in society, a willingness to break away from tradition and an intention to bring about a better change. Atleast, people feel the wrongs that have bene done and react to them , instead of calmly accepting them as "something that has always happened, will always happen".....A changing Pakistan in short.

Come, let us fight for our land, our values, our home. If the terrorists want us to shut schools and universities, we should react by facing the threat and going to the universities and vowing not to be afraid. The bombings will go on; they won't stop overnight but our resilience and our courage will subdue them. It's a battle of nerves; and God is always on the side of the brave and good. Let us create history by fighting for the ideology of Pakistan. 60 years have gone by without its being achieved; maybe this is the time of struggle again.

Wake up, Pakistan

A much needed victory

It feels great. Pakistan is starry-eyed today. We are the T20 world champions and it feels so, so very nice. Cricket is a passion for the Pakistani nation, yet this victory is more than just winning the final in a game. It has given us hope.We needed this so desperately in the bad times we have been going through. It's been a long time since we had a good news and when Pakistan beat the Proteas in the semi-finals, Pakistan suddenly woke up. We were all so happy and life was still for two days waiting for the final. TV screens were set up, especially in the refugee camps and the captain of the Pakistani team also said we will dedicate a victory to the internally displaced people. We won!

It is celebrations though all the length and breadth of Pakistan. People have spilled on to the streets, dancing and waving the Pakistani flags and singing national anthems. We are so so happy. God has given us hope again. We had lost belief in ourselves and suddenly we feel confident again. We ahve shown the world we are not just a bunch of terrorists; we have life, laughter, a sense of camaraderie, sports, love of life, everything. We have always felt in our heart we can bounce back when the whole world believed Pakistanw ill fail, either in sports or in national life. Our belief stands justified. Congratulations Pakistan! Way to go!