So let's get this straight right at the start. I am not a feminist but I am a strong, independent, highly educated, intelligent young woman. I am a humanist. Period. Why is it so hard for some people, or may I say a large number of people, to accept this?
I am not here to rant against men - I would rather speak up against attitudes that some men and women have. This has nothing to do with Trump being elected as President of the United States, though that is an example of how sexism and bigotry is a norm almost everywhere. I used to think the West may not have such problems but the longer I lived there, the more I realized that people and trends are the same regardless of location. Men simply do not like strong, independent women who also happen to be successful. Of course, this problem can be disguised or suppressed in the developed world mainly due to a culture of political correctness, discrimination laws, equality and diversity, etc etc. The developing world has some of these laws but none of the enforcement. Result: a grossly misogynistic culture where a successful, single, independent, strong woman has to be suspected because she is such an anomaly in a patriarchal society.
I may be feeling the effects of reverse cultural shock. My years in Europe may have changed my thinking. I may be too highly educated and have a high moral compass. But there are many other men and women like me. What I don't get is when these educated people show similar orthodox tendencies. Why are women such enemies of their own sex? Why do men see an intelligent woman with a mind of her own as a threat? Why is being traditionally conservative a virtue and originality of thought a sin?
I realize that the world is not black and white; there are good people everywhere. I am just writing about tendencies which are there, despite decades of progress and education. I despair sometimes of these prevailing attitudes, though I see a silver lining through the clouds. Either I am a misfit in a traditional society which I choose to call home and love despite its faults or I am too naive to admit that some things just don't change. It does not matter if a woman is intelligent enough to beat most of her contemporaries - she is still a woman and is expected to compromise and bow out of the race or at least accept that she will not win. There is nothing wrong with preferring family over any thing else - indeed, I do it myself. But it does hurt when you are judged solely on this ability and you see men of much less ability being able to get away with almost every thing.
As I said, I am a humanist. I believe in a balance of rights regardless of gender, location, ethnicity, faith, etc. It is clearly too much to ask in Pakistan. I will always be judged on my age, sex, family status, ability to compromise, etc and not on my capabilities, intelligence, efficiency. If I am in the West, I will probably be sidelined in a few places because I am not white, a Muslim, an outsider and a woman who follows her faith. There are too many stereotypes and too many fault lines and there are days when this oppresses my spirit. However, a fighter fights his/her way through and I am a fighter and a rebel. Always have been, always will be.
Dr. Faroha Liaqat
http://avoiceforislam.blogspot.com
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